


It Vibrates

by dapperghost



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cloaca, Fluff, M/M, NSFW, Porn Without Plot, SO MUCH FLUFF, Smut, a lot more fluff than i intended jesus, dSHAL IS LIFE, fuckin robo/bird sex, hal has a vibrating dick, im a sucker for dshal man, okay theres some plot, the best kind obv
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2015-01-04
Packaged: 2018-03-05 05:29:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3107846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dapperghost/pseuds/dapperghost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hal gets a new feature he wants to show to his feathery friend, aka the orange feathery asshole. Hot sex ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Vibrates

**Author's Note:**

> yeah still have other fics to write i know. but whatever. i promised my friends davesprite porn and i shall provide. i used my headcanon chumhandles for davesprite and hal, seeing as i doubt they would want to stick with the same ones as dave and dirk. also this is my first time writing hal so please cut me a bit of slack in this. hal is an android here, obviously.

Davesprite was bored. Extremely bored. All his friends were currently busy with other things. Rose with Kanaya. John and Dave screwing around like they do. Jade hanging with Karkat and the other trolls doing whatever the hell they usually do. And Hal meanwhile was with Dirk, getting some upgrades or whatever. Honestly, Hal was actually the only one of Davesprite's friends that cared about him, and actually enjoyed spending time with him. It might have been possibly due to the fact that they were both so similar, splinters of their normal selves. The secondary Striders. Either way though, Davesprite enjoyed the other's company, and missed it when he wasn't around. 

Not to say Davesprite's agitation was due only to boredom. There was also the fact that the two tended to do more than hang out on occasion, and many adventures had been had. It had gotten even better after the upgrade Dirk had installed in Hal a while ago, allowing him to actually feel things externally. It was obviously as per Hal's request, but the puppet lover had begrudgingly complied. In the end the wait DS had to deal with was worth it. Although for the first few days all Hal did was touch pretty much everything. Especially his feathers. Not that Davesprite minded, though. Not when the feathers he always had difficulty getting to were meticulously preened with the help of his android friend. 

Anyways, here the bird was waiting once more, for the other to have even more upgrades. What they were, he had no idea. Hal had said 'it was a surprise'. That could mean many things, but either way DS was impatient for the other to return. He floated back and forth impatiently, in a somewhat pacing manner, before giving up and just alighting down on the couch of the place Hal and him shared. It was then that his ishades lit up with a message. 

\-- timaeusTwisted [TT] began pestering turntechForgotten [TF] \--

TT: Hey. We just finished up and I should be on my way soon.  
TT: I have a surprise that you will enjoy, I believe.  
TF: oh really?  
TT: There is a 95.23% chance of you liking my surprise, so yes. Really.  
TF: well what if i turn out to not enjoy it? what then?  
TT: We will see when that occurs. But for now, prepare for my arrival.  
TF: and just how should i prepare?  
TT: You figure that out. But you may wish to fix the bed, even though there is an 89.99% chance it will become even messier than before after the first few minutes of my arrival. But you know. Neatness before fun and all.  
TT: Either way prepare to have your mind blown.  
TF: oh sounds exciting  
TF: i cant wait B)  
TF: see you in a bit  
TF: <3  
TT: Talk to you later.  
TT: <3

\-- timaeusTwisted [TT] ceased pestering turntechForgotten [TF] \--

After the messaging, Davesprite flitted off to the bedroom, where the "bed" was. He was even more excited now, seeing as the surprise was most likely something he'd enjoy. And also apparently something...fun. The bed was technically not actually a bed, but more like a nest of blankets and pillows and sheets and other things. Damn bird instincts man. But it was comfy, and it worked for the purpose it was used for. Which was more than one. He fixed it and organized it, allowing the instincts to take over to make the bed completely perfect. Sure it was bound to get messed up once more, but if it wasn't perfect at the beginning, Davesprite would most likely be agitated to no end. And Hal knew Davesprite well enough to know this. 

 

As he made the last few adjustments to the bed, the door clicked open, Hal's voice shouting out an ironic "honey I'm hoooome" as he shut the door. Davesprite rolled his eyes at the other before floating to greet the other. He smoothed down his feathers as he went over, annoyed that they had gotten messy. 

"Sup? Welcome back from the mad scientists lair, man," the sprite said, smirking slightly. 

"It's good to be back. It took me a while to escape his nefarious clutches. But I think I managed it. And it was worth the visit too. I will show you why if you wish." The android smirked back as he said this, leaving a quick kiss on the other's cheek. 

"It's only what I've been waiting for for the past two hours, dude. What do you think?" he crossed his arms as Hal slid an arm around him, leading him to the bedroom again. 

"Then let's get this show on the road, as they say." 

After those words were out of the android's mouth, and they were properly in the room with the door closed, Hal wasted no time in pressing the sprite against the wall and taking the others mouth against his own. The kiss was rough, hard, yet intensely passionate. Dirk had done a nice job on the other. Davesprite was always amazed at how well Hal kissed, although it wasn't that surprising seeing as he was a Strider and all. After they broke apart, Davesprite raised a brow at the other, a smirk playing on his face. 

"If that was the surprise, I'm not sure Dirk did a very good job on upgrading your systems. I mean kissing is fantastic and all, but that's not anything new. " 

"Oh trust me. It wasn't. We're just getting started here. Now go lay down on the bed." 

Davesprite did as he was told, floating over to the bed/nest/thing and stretching out, shifting so his wings were comfortable under him. He bit his bottom lip as he felt the arousal eating at his lower regions. Stupid ass hormones and all. Although currently he didn't mind as much, seeing as the issue would soon be solved. Hal grinned some as he approached the other, eyeing the feather-covered body in approval. He wasted no time in clambering in beside the sprite, tugging him in for another kiss, this one much deeper and closer, seeing as it was less heat of the moment. It lasted much longer as well. 

Hal's hands slid along the other's sides, playing with the feathers some and stroking the wings on the other's back, causing Davesprite to shudder some and trill slightly. He always had enjoyed the noises that came from the sprite. Thus why he continued to do everything in his power to draw them out of the other, save for touching the one spot DS wanted him to touch the most. God he was such a fuckin tease. In retaliation, however Davesprite had begun to slide his own hands down the other's sides, lightly tracing patterns with his talons, bringing slight shudders from the android. Yep. That upgrade was definitely worth it. 

Davesprite broke the kiss after a while, although they could have gone on indefinitely, seeing as neither needed air necessarily. He shot a lustful glare at the other, his face pouting in a way that was way too attractive for the birdsprite to be allowed to have. "Stop bein such a fuckin tease and get on with it you ass." 

"Aww but it's cute when you make those little avian sounds. I was thoroughly enjoying just petting you. But as you wish, 'your highness'." 

His fingers traced lower, one hand set on Davesprite's shoulder as the other located the small fold of skin where top half met tail. Hal snickered slightly as he felt the moistness already leaking out from the area, which earned him a weak slap on the arm. 

"Seems someone is excited here..." He raised a metallic brow, the corner of his mouth twitching upward in approval at what he was doing to the sprite. 

"Shuttup. N-not my fault you made me wait so long for you to get home." Davesprite's breath hitched as he spoke, obviously already sensitive at just the small amount of pressure put on the area.

"It's not my fault you got yourself all worked up. I haven't even shown you the surprise yet, either. But I think I shall make you wait just a while longer. This is fun." He grinned, slipping a cold finger inside easily, thrusting it in and out with expert precision, before adding a second, then a third. The noises coming from the sprite were absolutely delicious to the android, a mix of moans and chirps more impressive than his own voice could ever hope to make, even with all Dirk's modifications. The android whirred happily at the sounds, glad it was him causing this. And he was only just getting started, too. He continued to thrust his fingers for a bit longer, twisting and bending and flexing them with ease, stretching the other out, before he pulled them out. 

The absence of the fingers elicited a whine from the sprite, which would have been extremely embarrassing in any other situation, but now was just a sign of desperation. "W-what the fuck are you doing, dude? Put them back"

"Nah. I can't have you creating an orange explosion even before I show you my surprise, now can I? Now step right up to curtain number one to claim your prize." The smirk never leaves the androids face as, with a flick of his wrist, he reaches down opening a near invisible compartment in his lower regions. (ey where else would an android keep the d?) The metallic sausage springs forth from the compartment, just the perfect size to fuck a bird with. 

Davesprite just watches, squirming slightly in arousal even as he rolls his eyes. "Dude...I've seen your dick before. That ain't nothing new." 

Hal holds up a finger, grinning again. He switches his voice to that of a TV commercial guy. "But wait folks! There's more! With a press of a simple button..." He slips his hand down some, back to the compartment area. As it brushes along his dick, he gasps slightly (that upgrade was totally worth it), pressing the button next to it. A hum begins, as the metal appendage starts to vibrate. 

Meanwhile, Davesprite watches, unsure whether to be be amused or aroused, just winding up a mixture of both as he giggles some. "Jesus fuckin christ dude. Could you act any less sexy? Jeeze man. Although I gotta say, that is really fucking hot. How did you even convince Dirk to do...well that?" 

"It took a bit of coercion on my part. And I am 100% certain he was extremely uncomfortable the entire time. But as you will soon find out, the upgrades at Dirk's expense are completely worth it. Well, maybe not for him. But anyways. Are you ready?" 

"I am completely fuckin ready. Shit's about to get so steamy in here even a sauna won't fuckin compare. We're doin this man. We're makin this hapen." 

Hal nodded, inserting the vibrating appendage into the other's hole, a robotic groan coming from him as he slipped inside. At the same time, a chirping moan came from the sprite, talons once more digging into the blankets below him. After Davesprite had adjusted to the rather large (upon Hal's request) appendage, the android begun a steady pace, thrusting in and out as the hum of vibrations continued. Davesprite had to grip tightly at the sheets as he chirped and moaned and cawed, clawing at them and accidently ripping holes in a few. If sex was good before, it was even better now. Jesus fucking christ. It wasn't long before the sprite had lost complete control, just a mess of feathers and pleasure in the androids arms. And it wasn't only Davesprite who was enjoying himself. The metallic grunts and moans coming from Hal were one of the signs he was having just as much fun. 

"F-fuuuck....Hal...Faster...Ngh..." Davesprite panted between thrusts, and Hal complied, increasing the speed of his thrusts as the vibrations rocked through the sprite. Soon Davesprite was seeing white, a loud call of the other's name the only warning before an explosion of orange coated his feathers and the metal of Hal's crotch area, as well as the sheets and blankets around. A few more thrusts threw the android over the edge after, his voice crackling in a yell as static filled his vision. 

After they recovered from the climax, Hal pulled out of the sprite, flipping off the vibrations and cleaning up, before putting his dick away. He then proceeded to clean up the sprite, being gentle and trailing kisses along the other's neck as he meticulously cleaned the feathers, earning content sighs and peeps from the other in return. Fuck yes. After Hal finished, he lay next to the sprite, pulling the now spent ball of fluff towards him. "So...did you like my surprise?" 

"Like it? No. I fuckin loved it." Davesprite sighed contentedly, just nuzzling against the android, who whirred happily in return. 

"I'm glad." Hal kissed the top of the other's head once more as Davesprite drifted off, the humming of the android's internal parts lulling the bird to sleep. He soon followed, powering down to recharge.


End file.
